there is no try

i have done six 90 minute sessions of bikram yoga in the last four days in an effort to complete my 30 day challenge. i was ready to give up last tuesday until a friend, a well intentioned ex-boyfriend to be exact, said to me "there is no try."

earlier today, i decided to "do not."

after this morning's class, i spoke to the studio owner about what had to do be done. i seriously contemplated, and even for an hour of two tried to mentally prepare, for the four consecutive days of doubles (two classes in one day) i needed do in order to "successfully" complete the challenge. and then the thought hit me, everything within reason.

in this great month of june, i have battled through a three day spout of the stomach flu, undergone a portion of the most emotionally draining house remodeling process i ever thought possible and decided to revitalize my aspirations for graduate school studies. my bikram yoga 30 day challenge has been most helpful in dealing with the latter two situations. i am most grateful.

i am finishing out the remaining three days of my challenge by attending class once a day. when all is said and done, i will have completed 26 classes in 30 days. and i think that is PRETTY DARN AWESOME.

anyone who is up for seeing me smile throughout my 26th class is welcome to join me at south pasadena bikram yoga at 430 pm. there is no try. ;)

combo pizza

i work within a quarter mile of a costco, which is to say that i work within a quarter mile of unhealthy but very inexpensive and tasty food. i make it a point to leave the office before 11:15 on days i decide i cannot go on without consuming a slice of combo pizza.

when i arrived on the premise earlier today, there were already three lines of 7 patrons each waiting to order. after reviewing the demographic of my three options, i decided to stand in the line consisting entirely of individual male parties. though the other lines consisted of just about the same number of bodies, i reasoned that mothers with children and women in general were more likely to have larger and more complex orders.

think i am sexist? how many men do you know order the hand dipped chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bar to go along with their slice of combo pizza?

this is going to sound odd ...

but apparently i am a yang water scorpion dog.
NO WONDER WHY I AM SO WISHY-WASHY.
it explains so so much.

it is like this

it is like this
PLAIN AND SIMPLE
you are a sharp cat
if you wake up 15 years from now
not at the TOP
of some reasonably respectable (in an invisible hand sense)
field of human endeavour
you will REALLY find it hard to reconcile
because you will see IDIOTS all around you
in positions of power and influence
SIMPLY because they had the humility and courage
to discard myriad choices and bet on one
you should really set up that committee
get rigorous about this
and get serious
and COMPETE
there are enough bad people in this world to make it a rotten place
don't waste your gifts by not even ENTERING the battlefield

day sixteen

since starting the 30 day challenge, i have picked up three new hobbies: water consumption, water leakage and laundry laundry laundry. my google calendar has me looking like i have a life, but really it's just all the yoga. yoga yoga yoga. i suspect i am going a bit loco, but i do feel less stress these days.

the other day, while complaining about the constant soreness that i am experiencing, my guy friend reminds me that "pain is weakness leaving my body." all i had to say to that was "i can hardly raise my arms and that's the best bullshit you could come up with?" these past few days though, during certain postures (e.g. awkward, triangle, camel) when i really feel like my body is about to give way, or yesterday when i nearly broke out in a well of tears, i cling onto this "weakness leaving body" theory and somehow manage to keep my shit together.

more than anything else, i have learned from this challenge that most things are in the mind. the human body has an amazing capacity, but the brain has a lot of hangups. it is true that fear and pain prevent us from over exertion and death, but most of us err on the side of over caution all too often.

so, now equipped with all of these realizations, i am planning to extrapolate this sentiment into the many other areas of my life that need overhauls. and i hope what keeps me diligent and sane during this process is all of the yoga i am planning to integrate into this PAINful awakening.

board of directors

over the weekend, i ate lunch with a friend who has been firmly encouraging me to do something with my life. it was suggested that i appoint a board of directors to oversee my efforts of achieving "this something" goal. if i do decide to move forward with this, here's my preliminary five.

CKP: previous employer and family friend; mid 40s entrepreneur
YCC: cousin and confidante; mid 30s fortune 500 marketing manager
CYS: college roommate; mid 20s graduate student
RCF: friend; mid 30s entrepreneur

all right, apparently i have a vacancy in this theoretical plan. should probably balance out the team with a male in the final spot.

doubles

i decided to sign up for the bikram yoga 30 day challenge in part because i felt like my life had hit a stress level which only a daily dose of yoga could remedy. starting a new job, remodeling a house, and planning a brother's wedding in a span of three months will do that a person.

and because i have been generally crazy busy with life, i have already missed two days of my 30 day run. the 30 day challenge stipulates that one does yoga 30 times in 30 days, although it is meant in the spirit of daily practice.

in order to make up one of my two missed classes last week, i decided to attempt back to back yoga classes this past wednesday. I NEARLY DIED. all right, i concede that near death is a bit of an exaggeration. there were times during the second session i was convinced that i would be better off becoming unconscious. i was not so lucky.

during the final breathing exercise of that day, i felt the bottom of my feet, ankles and calves quickly tighten. i figured i was about five seconds from a severe muscle cramp so i purposely fell out of the posture. shortly after, the whole room was lying in savasana, dead body pose.

the first few days of the challenge, i found myself proactively searching for excuses to be elsewhere. after much encouragement from family, friends, coworkers and instructors, i am happy to say that i have completed six classes in the past five days. i am taking this lovely day off. and maybe, just maybe, i will be up for another double session this sunday morning.

namaste.

"marry me"

now before anyone gets confused about this being any sort of proposition or announcement, "marry me" is but a phrase i am borrowing from a photo of the weekend's pride parade. it is simple. it is bold, perhaps even brash. and it is totally me.

my brother's wedding is set for the end of august. i am looking forward to the multi-city festivities, but dreading the infamous hot and humid southern summers (no pun intended). for those wondering, the ceremony will be held in baton rouge, with a reception in some small town in mississippi, one that is apparently close enough to the louisianian destination. another reception will be held in los angeles for those family and friends who find the west coast a more geographically desirable destination.

my "qing ai de gege" (translation: dearest brother), as i have been referring to him as of late, has graciously offered both my sister and me five guest slots each. i found this endearing, but quite puzzling since i wonder why he would assume that i would have any inclination to submit any of my own friends to a night of awkward chopstick clanging and unpredictable toasts. did i mention they will NOT be serving alcohol?

and then last week, i was overcome with this awesome vision involving my family and the electric slide, choreographed and rehearsed. and although the details are still in the works, i am starting to think that i may just have to hand these invites out to the highest bidders.

can you see it now? my mom, sister and i, all in our qipaos, grapevining left, then right, walking back, rocking forward ...

*bopping shoulder chuckle* oh the hotness!

spoken like a "terribly old" fellow

YOUTH is the only gift god gives ALL of us uniformly;

And it is an ephemeral, fleeting, evanescent, transient gift.
- AS

hopes and dreams

i had an epiphany of sorts today. hopes and dreams. MY hopes and dreams.

i know this probably does not make any sense to anyone else, but i am writing this to remind ME.

day two

yesterday, i finally decided to do something i had first considered about a year ago, the bikram yoga 30 day challenge. i have never before submit my physical and mental strength to this type of deliberate and consistent strain. i wonder if i will make it out in one piece. and i am most curious what my mind and body will resemble at the end of the thirty days.

the internet has been most uncooperative at work the past two days. they identified a virus within the location where i work and have yet to isolate the problem. hence, the entire office's internet has been severely restricted. five minutes of external site access shuts down all web functions for five to ten minutes. these periods of stalemate have made completing job tasks most frustrating, but have done wonders for my hydration levels. i am probably on my eighth 16 ounce cup of water.

i hope my hydration pays off and i don't cramp up today as i did yesterday. i never knew one could develop a muscle cramp just below the chest. but yesterday's bikram class showed me the light. so now i know, yes you can cramp there, and at your calves and at every one of your toes, and at the arch of your foot. worse yet, you can even cramp right at the hip, when you are squatting so low for so long you think any second that particular joint is just going to disassemble itself.

andy and randy

during my cousin andy's wedding ceremony this past saturday, the reverend teased that he was relieved to see that the rings had indeed made it. he cited his brief encounter with randy, the best man, as the reason for his concern. randy gave the audience his infamous "i have no recollection of the time in question" look.

randy is the only guy i know whose idea of a "grilled" cheese sandwich involves microwave usage. he is also the only guy i know who has made an open face "grilled" cheese sandwich using a skillet, cheese side down.

it's obvious, though, after having spent many a hours chatting with the guy, that he means well and really has got my cousin's back. and that's why, every so often, i dearly miss the company of this odd couple.