On daughters and marriage

My mother came home from church this past Sunday to find me watching a TED.com video of Elizabeth Gilbert discussing genius. She stood by my side for a few minutes before she wandered off into the kitchen. When the video finished, she causally strolled back into the study. The following conversation ensued.

MA: So, Whitney is getting married in May.

ME: Oh, cool. (Thinking to myself, I already read about it on Facebook.)

(MA walks away for about a minute and returns.)

MA: I was wondering when my own children would be getting married.

ME: What are you talking about? Ge (means older brother in Mandarin) just got married last year.

MA: Well, I mean, when will my own daughters be getting married?

(I roll my eyes at the computer screen thinking that it is too soon to be having this conversation. I turn to face her.)

ME: Well mom, I think you might be to blame for this. You know, when you give a girl a good education that enables her to find a job so she can pay for her own mortgage and buy most of the things she wants and needs, she really is a lot less compelled to compromise. I mean, goodness gracious, arm a girl with an American passport and a self-sustaining income and she gets out of hand, she doesn't feel like dealing with all the problems that relationships can bring, and she isn't ready to sell her independence to any guy who comes along. I don't know what to tell you.

(MA walks away after letting out an audible grunt, as to signify disapproval. I smile and return my attention to the computer monitor.)

This brings me back to what Uncle Larson, the husband of the woman who babysat my siblings and me the summer of 1989, said to me the last time he saw me, "Never settle, you hear me? NEVER SETTLE."