I dated a Brahmin...

And all I got was this t-shirt.

My friend's little sister just started her own t-shirt company. I am planning to have one of these screened in a very large size so I can sleep in it.

I came up with the concept when I was writing an entry about my most recent beau. I put the finishing touches on it earlier today, but have opted to not publish it because it turned out much more sentimental than I had first intended.

As I was lying in bed last night, unable to sleep because of large dose of caffeinated beverage late in the PM, I thought to myself how hilarious it might be to print a large number of "I dated a criminal defense attorney... And all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirts on behalf of the many guys my sister will start and stop dating this coming year.

My sister knows I love her. :-)

I <3 the list of Craig

Below is an email I sent in response to a C/L ad for a floor lamp.

-----

I love your lamp. To be honest, I have already exceeded my furnishings budget for the month with a side chair purchase. So, my husband will likely frown if I bring this home. However, I love the lamp so much that I thought I would email to ask if you would be willing to sell the beauty to an admirer who will give it a good home. I think $140 is the maximum I am going to be able squeeze by him.

If it is already sold or your offer is too low, I understand.

Thanks for reading,

-----

The part about the husband and the side chair are not as accurate as they could be, but I really did exceed my monthly furnishings budget. I felt really guilty when I received a response from the seller saying that he would be willing to sell the item to such a "compelling story." That feeling simply evaporated though when I arrived to pick up the lamp and was met with a Maserati parked in front of a multimillion dollar home. Walking into the house to find the lamp next to a few thousand dollars worth of Le Corbusier furniture made me feel like I should have offered a much lower price. I still paid the $140, but inside I was kicking myself for discounting my story telling skills by at least a whole extra $20 worth of savings.

On daughters and marriage

My mother came home from church this past Sunday to find me watching a TED.com video of Elizabeth Gilbert discussing genius. She stood by my side for a few minutes before she wandered off into the kitchen. When the video finished, she causally strolled back into the study. The following conversation ensued.

MA: So, Whitney is getting married in May.

ME: Oh, cool. (Thinking to myself, I already read about it on Facebook.)

(MA walks away for about a minute and returns.)

MA: I was wondering when my own children would be getting married.

ME: What are you talking about? Ge (means older brother in Mandarin) just got married last year.

MA: Well, I mean, when will my own daughters be getting married?

(I roll my eyes at the computer screen thinking that it is too soon to be having this conversation. I turn to face her.)

ME: Well mom, I think you might be to blame for this. You know, when you give a girl a good education that enables her to find a job so she can pay for her own mortgage and buy most of the things she wants and needs, she really is a lot less compelled to compromise. I mean, goodness gracious, arm a girl with an American passport and a self-sustaining income and she gets out of hand, she doesn't feel like dealing with all the problems that relationships can bring, and she isn't ready to sell her independence to any guy who comes along. I don't know what to tell you.

(MA walks away after letting out an audible grunt, as to signify disapproval. I smile and return my attention to the computer monitor.)

This brings me back to what Uncle Larson, the husband of the woman who babysat my siblings and me the summer of 1989, said to me the last time he saw me, "Never settle, you hear me? NEVER SETTLE."

As good of an update as any

On swimming.

I have been trying to learn how to swim for the past few years, enrolling in classes at local community colleges as my schedule permits. I still have yet to master the whole coming up for air business, which as one might imagine is quite an obstacle in the swimming for distances longer than a few yards game.

In the recent trips to the gym, I decided to use a kick board to keep myself going. I got to a point where I could swim the distance of one lane without stopping, usually struggling to reach the wall while feeling light headed. Twenty minutes into one of these "swimming" sessions, I decided to go without the kick board and discovered that me sans the aid swims much faster, even accounting for the times I stand up for air. It is exactly like my friend the triathlete said, "Using a kick board is like putting a bulldozer in front of a Honda Civic, it slows you down."

Two days ago, I started taking "breaks," where I only use my legs while going down the lane since my upper body fatigues much faster than my lower body. As I calmly glide through the water, I imagine that I am snorkeling in Cancun with colorful fish swimming beneath me. And although the only treasures I really ever see are abandoned hair accessories, this swimming in the pool business is turning out to be quite a relaxing exercise for me.

the Nikkei

I began investing in stocks when I was 16.

This morning, I read that the Nikkei had dropped 1.4% today, bringing the total year's decline to 14%. I did not think much of it until I realized that we are currently seven weeks into the new year.

I have been reading "The Age of Turbulence" by Alan Greenspan. I highly recommend it. This book continuously reminds me why I fell in love with economics as an undergraduate. Strangely enough, it makes me feel hopeful about the future of this country.